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Relationships and sickle cell…through the lens of my partner.

Knowing your genotype is something that has been talked about over the years but I never thought about it. It was not something that I thought was important to me. After I got married I asked a few friends if they knew their sickling status and they were lost. For most of them it didn’t matter. If the lady is beautiful, has a good character and comes from a good home then they are good to go, end of story. For the most part, this was my reality as well. Due to my mother’s profession – nurse- i don’t think I would even know what my sickling status is.It never really mattered until I met Vanessa then it all came together.

People generally have the idea that people with sickle cell are skinny and look sickly…confession, I thought that too. So, it was hard to believe when Vanessa told me about her genotype. I didn’t believe her. I told her that it was a mistake and that someone made a mistake in the lab. I still didn’t believe her until she got a crisis and ended up in the hospital. I am not an artistic person but if you know my wife you would understand what I mean. She is a whole meal, I mean a complete balanced diet. How can she be SC. Na lie!

When she asked me for my genotype, I Initially thought it was a test or some sort of evaluation probably based on past experiences; I mean who would ask you about your genotype barely a week after meeting you. I was used to getting questions like “what makes Stephen tick?” and trust me I had the right answer to make the right impression. I realized she was really serious about it and this was something I have never really thought about when it comes to relationships.

After that conversation,I began to read and ask questions. I didn’t understand certain things and I would confess that I still have my fears but I have learnt that being married to someone who has sickle cell requires being meticulous, sacrifice and most importantly a lot of patience because you would hear the phrase “I am tired” very often, and for me, that’s the perfect time to say “I love you too”  and show my support. If I didn’t meet Vanessa I am very sure I wouldn’t be this aware of how important it is to know your genotype before you even start a relationship.My experience so far has been quite smooth. All I know is that I am willing to go through the experiences with her. From my perspective, I would say, definitely know what you are going into, be prepared for unexpected situations , pray for strength to be a supporter instead of a discourager and enjoy the journey…It can be exciting!

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    Evelyn Akagbo
    October 21, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Awwww Stephen, even in this you’re extra . I’m rooting for y’all. Love you guys. Enjoy your day and great post Nessa.

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 21, 2019 at 3:32 pm

      Awww thank you so much dear! Enjoy your day!!!!

    • Reply
      Sarah Debrah
      October 22, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      A whole meal ampa!! Aww! Good one Steven!

      • Reply
        vnsmgn
        October 26, 2019 at 11:48 am

        Hahahahah…..I know right! Thank you Sarah!!

  • Reply
    Yom
    October 23, 2019 at 4:21 am

    “She is a whole meal, I mean a complete balanced diet”. This got me cracking. Nice to read from the hubby’s perspective and his support for you!

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 26, 2019 at 11:47 am

      Hahahaha…I know right. A balanced diet paaa….thank you dear!

      • Reply
        Bernice
        November 5, 2019 at 3:53 pm

        So real.Loved the post.

        • Reply
          vnsmgn
          November 6, 2019 at 10:50 am

          Thank you!

  • Reply
    Emmanuel Asante
    October 23, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    Great Piece. I loved reading it. He cracked me up when he said you are a whole meal, hahaha. You are beautiful inside and out, Vanessa. Continue sharing your experiences to inspire other people. Stay blessed

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 26, 2019 at 11:47 am

      Hahahaha….thank you so much Principle! I am glad you enjoyed it.

  • Reply
    Nicole Jackman
    October 24, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    This was so incredibly insightful, supportive and honestly a real look at love and marriage. Great post as usual Vanessa (and Stephen)

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 26, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Awww thank you so much hun! I am glad you liked it.

  • Reply
    Sam D
    October 24, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Love this! Keep doing what you’re doing, we all need to be educated!

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 26, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Aww thank you dear!

  • Reply
    Japheth Roberts
    October 25, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    Velly velly nice write up Ako Steven! Lovely reading. Vanessa you are making this man artistic

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      October 26, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Hahahaa….thank you Japheth. As for this artistic side, i am glad it is coming out.

  • Reply
    Elly
    May 13, 2020 at 12:09 am

    Interesting piece!

    • Reply
      vnsmgn
      May 13, 2020 at 12:43 am

      Thank you!

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